Hopefully Helpful | Jasmine Mayfair | Reviews

I had to pull this article as it's a dilemma ...

That I have heard about a mothers feelings that often sneaks up and springs on you at the most unexpected times ... As told in the article by Lowri Turner:

'I love my mixed race baby - but why does she feel so alien?'

Emotional turmoil over the colour of her child's skin

"She's getting very dark, isn't she?" This is what one of my friends recently said about my much adored - 12-week-old daughter.

She didn't mean to be rude. But it was a comment that struck me with the force of a jab to the stomach.

Immediately, I was overwhelmed by a confusion of emotions. I felt protective, insulted, worried, ashamed, guilty, all at once. The reason? My lovely, wriggly, smiley baby is mixed race.

Now, I think of myself as pretty 'right on'. My home is on the border of the London Republic of Hackney. I've been to the Notting Hill Carnival, even if I found the music a bit loud. Yet now I realise what a 'white' world I inhabit.

I am white and I have two sons from my first marriage who are both milky complexioned and golden haired. My twin sister, who I spend a lot of time with, has a Danish partner. As a consequence, she has two boys who are also pale skinned and flaxen haired.

Into this positively Scandinavian next generation, I have now injected a tiny, dark-skinned, dark-haired girl. To say she stands out is an understatement.

My colouring and that of my children has never really been an issue before. However, three years ago I met the man who became my second husband and who is the father of my daughter.

Although born in the UK, his parents came from India in the Sixties. This makes him British-Asian and our daughter mixed race.

There is another more PC term for the plump little bundle I strap to my front. She is 'dual heritage'. It's a bit trendy, but I quite like it. It implies a pride in coming from two cultures, rather than the less attractive connotations of 'mixed race'.

The usual time something is labelled 'mixed' is when it's a packet of nuts and they've bulked out the luxury cashews with cheaper peanuts. I'm not sure I want my daughter to be regarded as an adulterated version of some pure original. Still, it is the most accepted description.

The truth is, whatever the label, the fact there is a label proves that my daughter's conflicting parentage matters.

At the more frothy end of the scale, mixed-race children are regarded as pretty dolls ? white kids with a nice tan.

When I was pregnant and people asked me about the child I was having, and I explained her father was Indian, they would often coo something along the lines of: "Ooh, she's going to be beautiful!" as if I was discussing a new rose, made from an exotic cross-breeding programme.

On a less benevolent level, mixed-race children can receive a hostile welcome from both white and black communities. Being neither one thing nor another may get you on the cover of Vogue, but it isn't an easy way to make friends.

Just been watching the start of, probably, the most famous Tennis tournament in the world; Wimbledon.

They are as usual keeping with tradition and serving not only fantastic first serves from the men and women but also classic strawberries and cream for the spectators. Of course all the players are dressed in white, do you remember back in the day when Agassi had real trouble dressing accordingly?
New for this year though is the newly installed roof on Centre court. There will be no more rain breaks to halt the game, and with last years winner Nadal injured, not even his pants pulling will delay the tournament.
Biggest question is of course if the homegrown will have a chance this year?
The hopes are up, as Murray DID win the Queens tournament leading up to Wimbledon. But Federe is back for revenge and I am sure he is ready to take another swing at winning the top spot.
For the girls, the most talk is about the fashion and if you have a look they do look very similar all of them. Apart from Robson probably, but then again she is solely concentrating on winning. Unfortunatly she's already out after a brave game that looked very hopeful sometimes. I can't believe she is only fifteen though. Bode well for the future.
I am hoping for a great tournament and some well played and exciting games, I doubt though however that anything could match the mens final last year, Nadal v. Federe, a classic marathon and as nailbiting as a 100 m rely race in any Olympic stadium.

It all really started at the start of 2009.

I have so many interests and groups and most important to me. And we all have experience in so many of life's quests, and answers to questions that often get asked when those around us start of something unfamiliar.

I had to start putting something into a place that I could easily share.

Before I used to have files, books and boxes of Hopefully helpful information filling the bedroom, now everything I want to use, refer to or share can be found in one place.

I have had my fair share of ups and downs and seem to have an answer just around the corner if need be. Hopefully Helpful is just sharing thoughts ideas, my reviews, and of course my ownlife experiences in Health, Work and Play.

I hope you find what your looking for.

Jaz